Hey Lovelies!
A few weeks ago as I was getting on the bus with Aiden, the bus driver looked at us and asked, "Is that your son?" When I replied, "yes," he responded with a very inappropriate "You can't be his mother; you look too young."
*Blank stare*Huh? So just because I look young, I couldn't be his mother? Again I say... Huh?
So I just laughed and said, "Yep. He's my son."
This blog is about three months old and whether you've just joined me in the "motherhood" journey or you've read all 15 of my posts, it doesn't take much to see that I look pretty young from my pics. In fact, I'd put myself in the 19/20-year-old age range.
When I was pregnant with my son, I'd get a lot of looks from people who were probably thinking, "that poor little girl is gonna give birth and not know what the heck to do." They were right. I was going to give birth and not know exactly what to do. Babies don't come with manuals, ya know! But I wasn't a poor little girl. I was a 23-year-old young woman, college educated with a full time job, AND I'd been living on my own since the age of 18.
After I gave birth, whenever I was out with my son, the looks and comments came on strong. From the "you look so young!" to the "how are you managing with him?" to "that's YOUR baby?" to the raised eyebrows... from bus drivers to Aiden's teachers to his pediatrician to random people on the street... I got it all!
So here I am trying to figure this whole motherhood thing out and make the best life for my son, but every time I step out of my house, I get "the look" from people. As if motherhood isn't hard enough!
My question is, why are young mothers depicted in such a negative way? Why do we receive "the looks" and comments from people? Why is it assumed that we are inadequate mothers? Unable to take care for our child[ren]? Irresponsible? Job less? Uneducated?
All mothers need support in order to survive and thrive... so where is the love?
Smooches,
SweetAl
Love this...you are absolutely right. I have 3 kids and when I am out with all 3 of them, I get people all the time ask me "are all them yours???" like they are confused or something. They see how young I look and wonder how its possible for me to have 3 kids and I am sure the questions start going through their head, and its usually negative. I am not sure why that is. My kids are happy, healthy, and well off, but like you said we all mothers need support
ReplyDeleteYou are so right you know! In this society to have kid young is not perceived positively but I've always wanted to be a young mum and I'm so glad I found you guys coz I know it can be done even my mum had me at 29 and my sis at 39 so she can't really relate to my wanting to do this. I say you're doing a good job and although it is hard don't sweat the naysayers!
ReplyDelete@Sharina: You sound like you're doing a fabulous job so high-five hunny! I can't tell you the amount of looks and comments that I have gotten/heard. At this point, I choose to not let it bother me as much because, as you said, as long as our children are healthy and happy, why should it matter if we are 22-years-old or 32-years-old?
ReplyDelete@The Princess Poet: So glad that I found you too! Cheers!
i think you get 'the look' because you look like a teen mom, and we are all familiar with the stats about teen moms. if they knew you were mid-20s, educated, etc they would be less likely to be sooo rude as to ask you all those questions. looking young is a blessing and a curse. just own it your awesome!
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