Sometimes Saying "No" Means "I Love You."

Hey Lovelies!

Most of the time, I'm a total softy when it comes to doing things for Aiden. I've written about this before. As Aiden began to get a bit more independent at pre-school and with babysitters, he [and I] struggled with the fact that he wasn't just as independent at home. With me. Sigh.

Sometimes I feel like it's a constant uphill battle to get him to do things on his own that I know he could do... on his own.

He's fantastic at cleaning up after himself -- putting his toys away, putting his school bag where it belongs, putting his clothes in his hamper, amongst some things. At home, the independence stops there.

When it comes to doing other things like untying his shoe laces or unbuttoning his shirts, he's been asking me to help him a little more than I'd like him to. Yea, I said it. While I would normally love to help the lil man out, as a busy single mom, sometimes I just can't.

So these past couple weeks, I've been getting better at encouraging his independence. When the kid whines while asking me to help him, firmly, but re-assuringly, I've been saying "no" more often.

And it goes a little something like this:

Aiden, no. I trust that you can do this. And not only do I believe that you can do it, I think you're so awesome that you can do this even better than I could have done it when I was your age. So, no. I can't help you right now. But you can do it by yourself.

And so he tries. And tries. Until he succeeds. All by his lonesome.

And then we both cheer and high-five each other. We celebrate his success.

My little speech has worked wonders as my lil guy grows more into a self-sufficient, competent, and independent little fella.

And ever so often, I plan to continue to encourage him with my little "tough love" speech. The boy's gotta learn, right?

Smooches,