Now that these summer classes are over I can breathe. I wanted this summer to go so well for me, but life had other plans for me. I thought I was making my life easier when I hired a sitter. Well she quit, 3 weeks before my summer classes ended. On top of having 2, 6 weeks summer courses, my husband and I signed up for a 10 week commitment to do a program called Family Expections. They give you money for coming every week, and they paid for childcare for our oldest son so I couldn't complain.
I didn't have a back up plan when my sitter quit. We live in Oklahoma and our family lives in Mississippi. I didn't have a back up person I could call to come keep him. I felt stuck. I couldn't complain to my husband, because there really wasn't a point. He had to work. I cried. Many of nights oh and days. I screamed. I was upset and I felt overwhelmed. I asked a what I thought was a close friend to keep him during the 3 days I needed help. She agreed. One week before final she quits, and we are no longer friends. Well great I just went from having 2 people in my support group (hubby and her) to one person.
I had to come to my senses. I realize if I had not gone through the storm I would not be able to taste such victory. I want my education. I need my education. I still have 2 years left in undergrad and 3 years for my masters. I will get to where I want to be in life, one class at time. Having to go through these hard times have made me think long-term. Shoot I'm thinking Ph. D now. I want my kids to know that I love them and they give me the PUSH I need to complete each course. I never would have dreamed I would be a young mommy. But I am. And I am proud.
Don't let anyone tell you your child(ren) will keep you from living your dreams. No one can live your life like you can. Your children didn't stop you from living your life, they just showed you a new way to live. You may feel like you need a break and that's okay. You are not the first young mommy, and mostly likely won't be the last. Embrace it. Love it. Remember you have SO many cheerleaders in your corner from your friends and family, to be the people write and read these blogs everyday. People like Alicia and myself blog to be blessings to you. To empower you. The fall semester is about to happen. Am I ready? No. But I am going to take the bull by the horns and get this party started! You have already done the most difficult thing you could ever do. Parent. Children don't come with handbooks. At least your college classes come with books and a syllabus. You got this!
Kanesha Morrison lives in Oklahoma with her husband and one-year-old son. She loves to speak on parenting, marriage, school, but most of all MONEY. She is a full-time stay at home mom, who blogs about her journey through life. Check her out at Money Matters Mama or find her on Twitter @TheMoneyMama.
I completely understand where you are coming from. I cry those tears and scream those screams too. I know how hard it can be especially when you don't have that support system. Your determination will see you through. Keep pushing on and keep the positive attitude. Young parents should never let having children hold them back. They should see is as motivation. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteUgh that's horrible! I don't know what the circumstances are, but that's really inconvenient & inconsiderate of those people to bail on your when you really needed them SMH. Thankfully it's over with, I hope the next semester treats you better.
ReplyDeleteXO, Ess.
Sending you positive thoughts as you start school again!
ReplyDeleteIt always feels good to say "I made it" once you get through a tough time. Riding the storm always makes you stronger and wiser. I can feel through your words that you are an awesome mom. I wish you the very best with school and all of your future endeavors. You definitely got this!!!
ReplyDelete"Your children didn't stop you from living your life, they just showed you a new way to live. You may feel like you need a break and that's okay."
ReplyDeleteAmen to this!!! Great post!
"Don't let anyone tell you your child(ren) will keep you from living your dreams. No one can live your life like you can. Your children didn't stop you from living your life, they just showed you a new way to live." i tell people this all the time!! they seem so surprised that i'm a single mom in grad school, but i tell them that it wasn't optional to go back to school just b/c i had a baby. i just had to re-route a bit. i hope you have a fabulous semester and that you find some people who you can truly depend on to help you out :)
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