On Learning to Be Alone

The month of January was coming to a close and one of my closest friends and I have been trying to meet up for a movie date for the past few weeks. She's was super busy traveling in and out of the country for work and I was super busy with single Motherhood and grad school and life.

I'd spent the last few months pondering if I was enough to handle this whole single mother thing and raise Aiden on my own. I'd put my best single mom foot forward, and a few months after breaking up with the other parent, I was finally embracing, well, my single mom status. And I was liking it. Loving it, actually. Aiden and I had enjoyed his 3rd birthday in October, Thanksgiving in November, adventures around the city and Christmas in December, and New Years. Just us two.

And it was good.

Little did I know that during that time, I was not only learning to be a single mom, but I was also learning to how to be single. 

Alone.

Because of our busy schedules, my friend and I were never able to decide upon a meeting time to see the movie. One Friday, after a particularly long three-hour Practicum class where a group of us Psychological Counseling students watched videos of ourselves in therapy sessions with our clients from the previous week, provide feedback to each other, and set goals for our upcoming week's session, I was beyond ready to relax.

So... off to the movies I went! I didn't even call another friend as a backup date. It was just me, myself, and I. All by my lonesome. As the movie played, I looked around and noticed that I was literally surrounded by couples. They were everywhere. I was expecting an uncomfortable feeling to creep up on me, but much to my surprise, it never did.

That's when I realized that I am enough -- not just as a single mom, but also as a single gal. 

And I couldn't help but to feel damn good.

Here I stand, months after catching a movie solo, more than a year after ending things with the other parent, unattached and fully embracing my 'Single Gal' status. And at this point in my life, I feel as though I want to ride out singlehood till the very end of the road, turn the corner, and ride down the next road as well... till the bitter end. 

And then try to find Mr. Right and totally commit myself to a higher purpose. Fearlessly. With no hesitation. 

But until then...

I'm learning to be alone. To be happily alone. To lead a full and fulfilling life... alone. And more importantly, I'm learning that I can, in fact, make it on my own.

Yep... I am enough.