Single Mom's Gone Wild: Miami Edition

Last week, this delicious single momma took a much-needed ladies trip to Miami, or "NYC with sand," as I like to call it. The trip was ''beach by day, party by night" and was designed to be my little way of letting loose, living it up, acting like a fool, and "going wild."

The rule was simple: anything goes. Well, almost anything. The plan was simpler: meet hot guys, flirt a little, party a lot, and drop it like it's hot. Pow! The micro mini's, swimsuits, and short shorts were out in full effect and they did their jobs very well -- accenting my best assets, if you know what I mean.

The eye candy was pretty damn sweet and came in so many flavors. And this single gal... well, I wanted to taste them all. By the end of 'Day One,' I was nicknamed "The Queen Bee of Flirting."

Discrimination was the name of the game. Only the tall, hot, perfectly chiseled guys were selected during the screening process to be blatantly hit on. Some got a "pass" for their charming personality and/or beautiful smile. But most had to be broad in the shoulders, slim in waist, and sexy all around.

Make no mistakes about it, I had to test out the sexiness by sliding my hand slowly down their chest... stop at their waist, make eye contact, and flash a grin of approval.  Perfect pecs... wowsa! Just what I've been waiting for! The hotties fully cooperated. All of them.

I may or may not have forgotten the names of said hotties and started referring to them as "Chocolate Cutie," "Mexican Hottie," "Sexy Londoner," and "French Cutie."

Whenever I go dancing in NYC, I usually have a very strict rule: leave the party before it's over so as not to be the last one on the dance floor. But in Miami, eh, not so much. I may or may not have sweated through my clothes from dancing to just about every song. And I may or may not have stumbled out of the parties at the bitter end of the night only to wake up the next day, head to brunch, hit the beach, and then party all over again... And again... And again.

There were lots of booty shots on the scene. And there were several other shots that may or may not have included tequila... but those details are still a little bit fuzzy to me.

It's totally fine, though. Because no one knows my name in Miami. And what happens in Miami...

Truth be told, in the grand scheme of "wildness," it was not that wild. It was not exactly wholesome fun because of the flirting... and feeling, but I'm quite the sh$t talker, and when it comes to random strangers, I'm all [flirting] talk and no [flirting] action. No freaky sleepovers. No walk of shames.

But for this delicious single gal, it was pure madness. Beyond fine. Beyond fun. And totally wild.