I'm sitting in training workshop at my agency with several other counselors and social workers. It's the second workshop in a series of six 3-hour long workshops that's scheduled to take place over six consecutive weeks. It's a Friday morning and the weather outside is pretty gorgeous -- sunny, spring-like, lovely.
I am bored.
To pass time, I try to engage with the facilitator of the workshop as much as possible by giving my two cents on everything from child development to why it's important to express empathy with others, especially our clients.
There's one guy in the workshop filled with a dozen women. Tall, dark, and handsome, he's got my attention. And he has the most beautiful eyes that I've ever seen. Ever. Now, I'm a lips gal myself -- a brother with some sexy lips and a sexy smirk to back it up wins me over every time. But man... those eyes, those eyes...Yes!
At the first 3-hour long workshop, during introductions, I find out that he's originally from the south and moved to New York City for law school, but is currently taking a year off and is filling that year by working at my agency (but not in the same office as me). Nice. Noble. He proves to be a gentleman very early on when he offers to throw my empty cup of coffee in the trash. So I give him the nickname SG for "Southern Gentleman."
He walks in late to the second 3-hour long workshop and the only sit available is the one next to me. He sits down... next to me. And things begin to get really interesting really fast. During the first half of the session, I compliment him on his sneakers. "Nice kicks," I say. Give a brother a compliment, and he'll run with it. During the break, he strikes up a conversation with me about one of my favorite things in the world -- Aiden. He's got a southern accent and it's kinda sexy. During the last hour of the session, he begins scribbling something on a piece of paper and then hands it to me. It reads: You seem really interesting; would it be possible to get to know you a little better?"
Hold up. What grade are we in again? Because the last time I saw a message like this, I was in the 5th grade. (I later find out that he was going to draw little boxes so that I could have checked off "yes," "no," or "maybe." He should have done that -- it would have been cute. Sort of.)
Realizing that he was waiting for a response and that I was trying not to laugh, I respond in a very polite way. From there, things get even more interesting.
Friday afternoon:
SG hits me up asking if he could take me out that night. I'm intrigued, but can't go out because I'm heading to New Jersey to spend time with my Godmother. I inform him of this and tell him that I'll be back on Sunday.
Sunday afternoon:
SG hits me up to ask if I had a good weekend. That seems nice, right? Halfway through the conversation, SG says, "You're really pretty. I just felt the urge to tell you that." Umm... how does one respond to that? Very politely, I say, "thanks," and later in the conversation we make plans for a date the upcoming week.
Monday morning:
I get a text from SG saying, "Good morning. Have a good day hun." Umm... hun?! How did we get here?! I try to respond casually by saying, "Good morning" back to him. Nothing more, nothing less.
Monday afternoon:
I have a voicemail waiting for me saying, "Hey Alicia! This is SG. I just wanted you to know that I dropped my phone and the screen broke so I won't be able to see your texts. But I wanted to give you my work phone number and my email just in case you were trying to reach me." I pull my phone away from my ears and say, "really?!" into the receiver, as if my phone was the one talking to me. The phone rings. Again. It's SG. He wants to know if I got his message. (Seriously, I can't make this stuff up.) I tell him that I did and we proceed to talk for a few minutes. During the conversation, I ask him where he lives in NYC. When he says that he lives about an hour away from me, he asks, "Is that going to be a problem? Because I don't want that to affect our relationship." Our... WHAT?! How did we get here?! I figure out a way to politely end the conversation because I'm obviously getting freaked.
Monday night:
I get a text from SG. It reads, "Thanks for giving me a chance. I won't disappoint you." Umm... you already did.
We've already planned a date for tomorrow night, but I'm thinking that I need to get out of it. Fast. So I'm thinking of every excuse I can use to cancel.
But I don't. I go on the date and when I see him -- and those eyes -- I remember why I agreed to go on the date in the first place.
The date is pretty solid. I have a nice time and few good laughs. Halfway through, he tells me that he's definitely interested in dating me. No, really?! I would have never guessed! I tell him that I'm at the point where I'm enjoying dating and getting to know different people. He's not feeling that response. At all. SG seems as though he's interested in being in a relationship. Like, yesterday. In fact, the morning after the date, I get a Facebook friend request from him. Too much too soon, folks. Too much too soon. So, a few days later, when he asks me if there will be a second date, I have to give it to him straight.
Now... I've been on both sides of the coin. I've been the person waiting to see if someone more suitable comes along, and I've been with someone who seemed to have been waiting for someone more suitable [than me] to come along. It ain't pretty, but all's fair in love and war.
That being said, I don't want to find myself in a position where I'm leading this guy on. I believe in relationship karma. And "karma, karma, karma comes back to you hard." (Name that reference. It's from one of my favorite albums ever!) So I tell him. I say, "I'm not looking to be in a relationship... It definitely seems like you and I want different things at the moment. And it would be kind of messed up if I continued to hang out with you when we both know this."
His rebuttal? "I'm not asking for a relationship, Alicia. I just want you to be open. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. But don't eliminate me without getting to know me first."
I can't lie -- that response does pull at the heart strings.
Sigh.
Maybe I was too hastily in prejudging this one. Maybe SG has a good point. Maybe I should give this one another shot...
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Entertaining At Home? Prep and Clean Up Tips from Arm & Hammer
A few weeks ago, I was invited to an evening with Katie Lee -- entertaining expert, celebrity chef, and best-selling author at a private event in SoHo, which was hosted by Arm & Hammer. While I was not able to attend the event where attendees spoke about all things pertaining to prep and clean up when entertainment at home, since Spring is in and my balcony is begging for me to host another Ladies Brunch (replete with mimosas, of course!), I can't help but to share this info with you.
What I love most about Arm & Hammer Baking Soda is that it's cheap and versatile -- for about $3 you can have a pretty good cleaning and deodorizing solution. Before you host that Spring brunch (I'm not the only one who's thinking of hosting a brunch, right?), think of all the things you can do with Arm & Hammer Baking Soda:
In the Kitchen -- Clean your food prep area, wash fruits and veggies, and add a table spoon to your regular dish detergent to help cut grease and foods left on pots and pans. This is so much better than harsh cleaners.
In the Living Room -- Sprinkle Baking Soda on upholstery or carpet, let it sit for 15 minutes, and vacuum it up. Score!
In the Bathroom -- Clean the bathroom floors, wastebasket, and shower curtains by using Baking Soda to remove dirt and grime, leaving a true fresh scent.
In the Dining Room -- Sorry. We don't have dinning rooms in New York City -- we have "dining areas."
Happy cleaning! And happy mimosa-filled brunching!
{Disclaimer: Event attendees received a gift bag at the event. All opinions expressed herein are my own.}
[Photo via] |
In the Kitchen -- Clean your food prep area, wash fruits and veggies, and add a table spoon to your regular dish detergent to help cut grease and foods left on pots and pans. This is so much better than harsh cleaners.
In the Living Room -- Sprinkle Baking Soda on upholstery or carpet, let it sit for 15 minutes, and vacuum it up. Score!
In the Bathroom -- Clean the bathroom floors, wastebasket, and shower curtains by using Baking Soda to remove dirt and grime, leaving a true fresh scent.
In the Dining Room -- Sorry. We don't have dinning rooms in New York City -- we have "dining areas."
Happy cleaning! And happy mimosa-filled brunching!
{Disclaimer: Event attendees received a gift bag at the event. All opinions expressed herein are my own.}
Thursday, April 26, 2012
The Birthday Post: Letters to My Younger Self
Because it's true. I've come a long way. And this week, I found myself composing short letters to my younger self that serves as proof.
Dear 5-year-old Alicia --
Baby girl, you're like Annie -- half orphan. Mama never had an abortion; papa sorta did, but you'll manage to live. (That was a Jay-Z reference. You'll grow up to love him.)
10-year-old Alicia --
It's been five years and you still haven't had closure with the whole "mommy, daddy, and grandma are not really able to take care of you" thing. It's cool though. Mommy and grandma seem to have their own demons to battle. They will. In due time. Allow this to be your first lesson about timing -- it is everything.
15-year-old Alicia --
Girl, daddy may not be around to have the "teenage daughter talk" with you about how those teenage boys can be. He's not going to teach you the ropes, but you'll learn them anyway. In due time. You may never get closure on your relationship (or lack of relationship) with your father. But you'll make peace with it anyway and move forward.
17-year-old Alicia --
No
matter how many times you scribble his name in your diary or how many times you see how his last
name looks next to your first name, you will not marry your high school sweetheart/first love. You two will go to different colleges and you will break up. You’ll be devastated by
it during freshman year. It's cool though. You'll survive. I know this much is true: you will ALWAYS
survive.
22-year-old Alicia --
You’re
about to graduate from college. Wowsa! You didn’t do nearly as many wild and
crazy things that you thought you’d do in college. But it’s all good -- you’re
not that kind of people. And that’s quite alright. You’ve got your head on strong
and you’re going places. You’ve overcome so much already and you’re ready to
experience life. It’ll only get better from here.
22 ½-year-old Alicia --
Umm…
yup! That’s a positive sign that you see on the stick you just peed on. You are definitely pregnant. Say it
with me: “Ah, man, f*ck!” I guess you were saving the wild and crazy things for
post-college, huh? Okay, I see you. I
respect ya gangsta.
23-year-old Alicia --
Floss.
No seriously, floss. Daily. I know your gums are sensitive because of this pain-in-the-ass-morning-sickness-all-gosh-darn-day-long
pregnancy, but... floss. Otherwise, you'll have to have dental surgery when
your soon-to-be-son is 3 ½ years old. Only thing is that you'll be in grad
school at that time and in the middle of finals and a thesis. And you'll cuss
yourself out for not flossing three years ago. So please, for the love of fluoride.... floss.
24-year-old Alicia --
Ahh...
The quarter life crisis begins. You had a baby, unexpectedly. You got lost.
Very lost. In a relationship that, you guessed it, didn’t last. But, I promise
you, you find your way out soon enough. In due time. (Remember what I told you before: timing is everything.) And you'll be better, stronger,
and a little bit wiser because of it. Hang in there. Even when you can't see
your way out. Hang in there. There's more to life than this, lovely
lady.
25-year-old Alicia --
When
he shows you who he really is, believe him the first time. It need not matter that you have a kid together.
Trust me on this: believe him... the first time.
26-year-old Alicia --
Being
single in your 20s is going to be many things, but above all, it’ll be a learning experience. And I’m pretty sure it’s an invaluable one. Being a single
mom in your 20s will be even more of a learning experience. You thought you were
resilient as a child and teenager, but you’ll learn the true meaning of
resiliency, perseverance, and hard work. All over again. You’ll learn when to try harder and
when to walk away. All over again. You’ll learn the meaning of strength and courage. All over again. You’ll build character. All over again. You’ll still make mistakes – lots of
them -- all over again. But you know what? You’ll kick some serious ass.
Lady, I’ve
got three words for ya: you. better. work.
Because there’s so much more for you to see and do and experience and learn. There’s life to live. And you’re ready to live it. On purpose. And with a purpose.
Cheers!
Because there’s so much more for you to see and do and experience and learn. There’s life to live. And you’re ready to live it. On purpose. And with a purpose.
Cheers!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Six Perfectly Good Reasons to Spend Time Away From Your Kids
It was just one of those days—a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day—just like Alexander. Aiden must have woken up on the wrong side of his toddler bed because he was extremely cranky and threw tantrum after tantrum. And I must have also woken up on the wrong side of my bed because I wanted to throw tantrum after tantrum, but that's not a very "adult" thing to do.
The day before, he was Dr. Jekyll. But that particular day, he was bordering on Mr. Hyde. He threw toys and cried for seemingly no reason. It's almost as if he forgot how to use his words, save for the times he whined. As for his nap; of course he didn't want to take it.
I needed to get away from him—fast. Which got me to thinking: There are times when moms need to get away from their kids no matter how absolutely adorable, incredibly loveable, and totally awesome they are. Here’s why:
1. They have the potential to be annoying.
Let me preface this by saying: I love my son. I carried him for nine months and I think he’s the best gift ever. But sometimes, sometimes he annoys the crap out of me with the whining. And don’t even get me started on the "terrible threes" that seemed to have led to the "ferocious fours." (I suppose I annoy him at times too with my nagging, but that's another post for another time.)
Let me preface this by saying: I love my son. I carried him for nine months and I think he’s the best gift ever. But sometimes, sometimes he annoys the crap out of me with the whining. And don’t even get me started on the "terrible threes" that seemed to have led to the "ferocious fours." (I suppose I annoy him at times too with my nagging, but that's another post for another time.)
2. Sometimes there are just too many gosh darn hours before bedtime.
This goes along with my previous point. When my kid is being a pain and it's only one p.m., I either need to hide in a closet or get away. I can't really hide in a closet because my son may just annoy me even more by following me in there. So, I chose the latter.
This goes along with my previous point. When my kid is being a pain and it's only one p.m., I either need to hide in a closet or get away. I can't really hide in a closet because my son may just annoy me even more by following me in there. So, I chose the latter.
3. It’s rejuvenating.
As cute and fun as they are, kids can definitely be draining at times. It's hard work taking care of someone else 24/7. We’ve got to feed 'em, bathe 'em, clothe 'em, play with 'em, soothe their boo-boos...the works! Sometimes we need to rejuvenate and remember that we have identities outside of motherhood, which brings me to my next point.
As cute and fun as they are, kids can definitely be draining at times. It's hard work taking care of someone else 24/7. We’ve got to feed 'em, bathe 'em, clothe 'em, play with 'em, soothe their boo-boos...the works! Sometimes we need to rejuvenate and remember that we have identities outside of motherhood, which brings me to my next point.
Read more of my rants on REDBOOK: 6 Reasons Moms May Need Time Away From Their Kids
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Classic and Sexy in Herve Leger Navy Mini Dress
{Dress: Herve Leger; Shoes: Aldo; Eyes: Bobbi Brown; Lips: Rimmel London Berry Rose} |
To kick-off my upcoming new year, I donned a classic navy mini Herve Leger bandage dress. It was all kinds of sexy, perfect for an "upper 20's" birthday celebration, and definitely highlighted my best assets.
Need proof? Please lend your attention to exhibits A, B, and C, also known as the booty poses:
Oh yeah!
I paired the dress with fun and flirty fuchshia peep-toe pumps with a metallic heel from Aldo. I promise you, these shoes we're giving me LIFE on Saturday night! I told my friends R and T that these are officially my new fave pair of shoes... and I fully intend on rocking the life out of them this Summer.
To complete the look, I added a few accessories that were equal parts feminine and sweet, equal parts trendy and edgy -- totally Mommy Delicious style.
{Three prong necklace: Express; "Mommy" necklace: Michael C. Fina} |
{Clutch and ring: Aldo Accessories; Cuffs: The Junk Boutique; Nails: Kardashian Kollection Kim-pletely in Love} |
I could totally be a Herve Leger model.
Hope you guys are having a fashionable week!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Celebrating Earth Day 2012... eBay Style
While I certainly wouldn't consider myself a "Go Green Guru," these days I'm finding myself trying to be as eco-friendly as possible. From learning tips and tricks from the adorbs Tristin and Tyler to using household and baby products from Jessica Alba's The Honest Company to perusing the eBay Green Team site for tips on buying and selling in a more green way, I'm totally a Greener Alicia. Score!
To celebrate Earth Day (which, is totally like the Superbowl for the eBay Green Team), the eBay Green Team is helping users of all personalities approach their individual shopping experiences with an eco-friendly lens.
Don't give me the "Huh?" confused look just yet -- it's a lot simpler than it sounds! Just as I told you in this post, "green" items are pretty much anything that has been pre-used. (Or "pre-loved", as I like to say.) I'm sure many of you are right in the thick of Spring cleaning so instead of throwing items away, monetize off of it and sell it on eBay. Okay, okay... maybe I'm the only one who's still in the midst of Spring cleaning, but, like, you get my point: selling items on eBay can and will help you "be more green" by extending it's useful life and reducing your carbon footprints.
First, head over to the eBay Selling Inspiration House for, you guessed it, ideas on things you can sell after you're all done Spring cleaning. After spending some time on the site, I was able to get a better idea of things in my apartment that I could sell and not toss. (Totally Green thinking.)
Then, head over the the eBay Green site to get tips on how to list your items. For instance, instead of listing Aiden's outgrown t-shirts as "Used T-shirts," I'm learning to describe that folks can use these t-shirts as play clothing for their children. It gives them a reason to buy it. Pretty smart, huh? (Totally Green thinking.)
Next, head over to eBay Green site in order to learn how to ship green with the eBay recyclable box program. (Totally Green thinking.)
Last, sit back and wait for your payment to come. (Totally green thinking. But in the other sense, like, green dollars.)
{Full Disclosure: As an eBay Parent Panel Ambassador, this post is sponsored by eBay. All opinions expressed herein are my own.}
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
The Strength To Be Vulnerable
My response is always simple. "It's cool, you don't have to understand." And, "Nope, it's not strange at all."
(If you read yesterday's post, you'll know that I'm in a "To each his own" kind of place right now.) It is cool. And they don't have to understand why I do what I do.
But I'll tell you. Back in July, I wrote a post sort of explaining why I do what I do here on this corner of the Internet. Sure I'm fairly open and transparent with lots of things going on in my life. (Within reason.) I don't share everything, but I do share things with a specific purpose in mind. And that purpose is you. I've noticed more and more that people who are going through things that are similar often email or message me to share their stories, to release, to feel comforted in knowing that someone else out there is getting through (or has already gone through) what they are going through at this very moment.
That sense of universality... that sense of community... that sense of "If she can do it, so can I" -- that's why I share. It's certainly not because I think I have all the answers. Because I don't. But it takes strength to be vulnerable. And it takes strength to "go first," so to speak. It's scary at times, but you make it worth it. So thank you. I hope you know that you inspire me as much as you say that I inspire you.
Blessed To Be A Blessing
[Originally published on July 15, 2011]
I often think about the mission of this blog and I how I want to convey my life for the use of this community. Some weeks more than others. This week was one of those weeks.
As I thought about where my I have been in life and where my life is heading, I kept coming back to the same important thought -- I'm blessed to be a blessing.
I have been through a lot in my life. Trials and triumphs. Bad times and ugly times. Hard times and harder times. But when it all boils down, I know that I've had a lot more ups than downs. In my opinion anyway.
Optimism.
I've shared some of my most personal stories on this here place and space.
My struggles with dealing with an unexpected pregnancy.
My struggles with learning to cook. Or the fact that I was totally cooking-impaired. I still am. But just a lil bit.
My experience with domestic violence and the decision to leave the relationship.
My struggles with accepting my single-mom status.
The boundaries and privacy issues that have arisen as I attempt to use the bathroom sans Aiden.
My struggles with starting, sticking with, and finishing graduate school as a solo parent. #Winning.
The lessons that I've learned from being in an abusive, toxic relationship.
My dating escapades as a young, single mom.
And much, much more.
My story is far from perfect. I've made mistakes. Lots of 'em. And I've even shared those mistakes with you. Because I've bounced back from them. Most of 'em anyway. And they've made me into the person that I am today.
Blessed.
It takes an immense amount of strength to be vulnerable and personal and lay it all out there -- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Resilient.
When I think about the mission of this blog, the one thing that comes to mind is that I want to be a blessing to someone else. And I pray that I have been because, in reality, none of this'll matter if I am not a blessing to you in some way. If you are not inspired by this community that we've created, then it'll all be in vain.
But it hasn't been. Because you are blessed to be a blessing. And I am blessed to be a blessing.
So thank you. And you. And you. And you. For making Mommy Delicious the community that it has become. This is only the beginning. We've only scratched the surface. And it's never felt better.
High five.
As I thought about where my I have been in life and where my life is heading, I kept coming back to the same important thought -- I'm blessed to be a blessing.
I have been through a lot in my life. Trials and triumphs. Bad times and ugly times. Hard times and harder times. But when it all boils down, I know that I've had a lot more ups than downs. In my opinion anyway.
Optimism.
I've shared some of my most personal stories on this here place and space.
My struggles with dealing with an unexpected pregnancy.
My struggles with learning to cook. Or the fact that I was totally cooking-impaired. I still am. But just a lil bit.
My experience with domestic violence and the decision to leave the relationship.
My struggles with accepting my single-mom status.
The boundaries and privacy issues that have arisen as I attempt to use the bathroom sans Aiden.
My struggles with starting, sticking with, and finishing graduate school as a solo parent. #Winning.
The lessons that I've learned from being in an abusive, toxic relationship.
My dating escapades as a young, single mom.
And much, much more.
My story is far from perfect. I've made mistakes. Lots of 'em. And I've even shared those mistakes with you. Because I've bounced back from them. Most of 'em anyway. And they've made me into the person that I am today.
Blessed.
It takes an immense amount of strength to be vulnerable and personal and lay it all out there -- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Resilient.
When I think about the mission of this blog, the one thing that comes to mind is that I want to be a blessing to someone else. And I pray that I have been because, in reality, none of this'll matter if I am not a blessing to you in some way. If you are not inspired by this community that we've created, then it'll all be in vain.
But it hasn't been. Because you are blessed to be a blessing. And I am blessed to be a blessing.
So thank you. And you. And you. And you. For making Mommy Delicious the community that it has become. This is only the beginning. We've only scratched the surface. And it's never felt better.
High five.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
On Defining Your Worth
This turning 28-years-old at the end of this month is doing something to me. Not in the oh-my-goodness-I'm-getting-old kind of way. More in the I'm-grown-and-FEEL-more-like- a-grown-up kind of way. I feel like I can make my own decisions (something that I've been doing for a long, long time) and not have to second guess myself because I'm afraid of what others might think about said decision (something that I have not been doing consistently for a long, long time).
It feels good.
Growing up, I typically strongly and quietly pursued what I felt was right for me at the time. Without really consulting anyone. I just did it, and people had their own thoughts and feelings regarding whatever I did, but the decision was already made by that time.
Then Aiden's other parent happened. And with the demise of that relationship came a lack of confidence in my ability to make sound and good enough decisions. For seemingly a long time, I didn't trust my own judgment. (If you've ever been in that position, you'd know that it's not a good feeling.) I second guessed many of the things that I did and asked people for their opinion before thinking about my own opinions. In some weird, twisted, and convoluted way, I felt like my worth was all wrapped up in what other people thought of me and my ability to make decisions.
But people make mistakes. Lots of 'em. And that's quite alright. Taking something away after the mistake is made is what's key -- growing pains. At it's finest.
And ultimately, my worth is not defined by what other people think of me or my decisions. It's defined by me.
I'm happy that the emotional roller coaster of my 20s are under control. I feel more stable. I feel more in control. I feel like my decision are my own again -- when it comes to making choices about how to raise Aiden, when it comes to my career choices, and when it comes to personal decisions.
When people question my decision to to enroll Aiden in private school in the fall, to have him in bed by 8:30pm, or to maintain my own identity that's separate from parenting, I no longer take it personally. In fact, my response is quite simple: "Eh, to each his own."
When people question my decision to counsel teens in the foster care system and work as a freelance writer, besides the fact that I love it and it gives me life, my response is simple: "Eh, to each his own."
I was having dinner at a friends apartment a couple weeks ago and our mutual friend joined us. She was describing a personal decision that she'd made a couple weeks prior. She and I are in fairly similar situations, but not close enough to call it the same. The decision that I made regarding my situation is the exact opposite decision that she made. Throughout dinner, she kept saying something along the lines of, "I have to know my worth and be a woman and stick with my decisions." I agreed with her. She does have to do that for herself.
And I have to make and stick with my own decisions. And it's quite alright that my decision is different from hers. We agreed to disagree, but without being disagreeable. Because, ultimately, my worth is not defined by what other people think of me or my decisions. It's defined by me.
Eh... to each his own.
How do you define your worth?
**These photos don't have much to do with this post, but I took them a few weeks ago on the plane back from hanging out at the eBay offices in California. They're pretty dope, huh?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Tips for Balancing Work, School, and Kids
Written by Christine Kane
It’s becoming more the norm these days for adults to want to
go back to school and further their education, whether it’s for a job promotion
at their current place of employment or to change careers and pursue a profession
they love. It’s hard enough to do this once you’re out of college and in a
career; however this becomes even more complicated when you add kids into the
mix, and whether you’re one parent of two or a single parent, juggling school,
work, and kids can be an arduous task to undertake. To be successful at all
three you have to plan ahead.
1.
Have
realistic expectations
You will set yourself up for failure by expecting to be able to do everything perfectly 100% of the time, so set realistic goals for yourself. At different times different aspects of your life will have to give a little, and that’s ok! It’s all about finding a balance that works for you and your family.
You will set yourself up for failure by expecting to be able to do everything perfectly 100% of the time, so set realistic goals for yourself. At different times different aspects of your life will have to give a little, and that’s ok! It’s all about finding a balance that works for you and your family.
2.
Set a
schedule
When you leave everything to chance it’s almost guaranteed that priorities will end up colliding with one another, which is an instant recipe for disaster. Instead, put together a schedule each week that designates certain times for everything. Whether it’s getting up an hour earlier to cram in studying each day, staying up a little later each night so you can study once the kids are asleep, or taking less school hours to ensure that it doesn’t infringe on work and family, you have to find a schedule that works for you and your kids.
When you leave everything to chance it’s almost guaranteed that priorities will end up colliding with one another, which is an instant recipe for disaster. Instead, put together a schedule each week that designates certain times for everything. Whether it’s getting up an hour earlier to cram in studying each day, staying up a little later each night so you can study once the kids are asleep, or taking less school hours to ensure that it doesn’t infringe on work and family, you have to find a schedule that works for you and your kids.
3.
Designate
a day specifically for kids
If you’re working Monday-Friday then pick a weekend day where you devote the entire day to doing something fun with your kids. If you’re working a more sporadic schedule then pick a day or night when everyone is home, and then do something fun together. As busy as you may be, setting aside time each week to fully devote to your kids will make them feel important and will leave you less stressed about how busy you are the rest of the time.
If you’re working Monday-Friday then pick a weekend day where you devote the entire day to doing something fun with your kids. If you’re working a more sporadic schedule then pick a day or night when everyone is home, and then do something fun together. As busy as you may be, setting aside time each week to fully devote to your kids will make them feel important and will leave you less stressed about how busy you are the rest of the time.
4.
Regularly
check in with your family
To
have a successful balance of work, school, and kids it’s important to regularly
check in with them and ask them how they think things are going so you have a
realistic assessment of if things are working smoothly or not. This is a good
time to discuss any upcoming events that need to be added to the schedule, to
make sure that no one is feeling neglected, and to see where improvements can
be made so that everything flows more efficiently.
5.
Don’t
be afraid to ask for help
Your
kids may see you as Super Mom – and juggling three huge responsibilities like
this means you pretty much are – but you’re still only one person. Don’t be
afraid to ask for help from other family members, friends, or even a nanny to
help with household tasks or watching the kids. Stretching yourself to thin
will only result in feeling burned out and overwhelmed.
About the author: Christine Kane is from internet service providers. She is a graduate of Communication and Journalism. She enjoys writing about a
wide-variety of subjects for different blogs. She can be reached via email at:
Christi.Kane00 @ gmail.com.
Easy, Breezy At-Home Stain Removers
Written by Marie Hunter
When
you became a parent, you probably didn't realize that your new title would
include a lifetime of battling stains. Just when you find a way to remove a
stubborn stain, you find out your favorite cleaner is loaded with dangerous
chemicals, or your kids come up with a new and more creative stain for you to
wrestle with.
Why
can't stain-removal be simple, effective and safe for the environment? Next
time your laundry basket is littered with grass and ketchup stains, try some of
these green at-home stain remedies before you toss your clothes into the washer.
- Ammonia
- This common household product is especially beneficial for removing rust
and grease stains. Be sure to purchase fragrance and color-free ammonia,
and pre-test it on a small area of clothing before treating the entire
stain. Avoid using ammonia on wool or silk, and also, never combine
ammonia with bleach because it can be extremely toxic.
- Baking Soda
- Everyone has this in the refrigerator, and it is helpful both for
removing stains and. Baking soda can even treat stubborn stains, like
blood and wine, but you'll need to apply it as a paste with warm water to
a stain as soon as possible before the stain has an opportunity to set in.
- Hydrogen Peroxide
- This is by far one of the most thrifty stain removers. A $0.75 bottle
can remove hundreds of stains simply by using it to pre-treat a stain a
couple of hours prior to washing. For stubborn stains, rub the peroxide
into the stain using an old toothbrush. After washing, your clothes should
come out looking like new.
- Cream of Tartar
- This underused pantry staple has uses beyond the kitchen. In fact, it is
quite helpful for removing stains caused by bodily fluids. Perspiration
stains, in particular, lift easily from fabrics when you combine cream of tartar with a few crushed aspirins and some warm water.
- Lemon Juice
- This citric fruit juice can stain clothes on its own, but when combined
with salt and vinegar, it is helpful in removing common food stains, such
as grape juice, wine, salsa, ketchup and stubborn berry stains. As an
added bonus, your clothes will smell lemony fresh after your next wash.
As
with all stain treatments, be sure to test your at-home stain remedy on an
undetectable swatch of clothing prior to treating an entire stain. Furthermore,
if you want to expand upon your at-home stain treatment savings, set your washers to the cold setting to save money on energy
heating expenses.
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