When Co-Parenting Fails...

This week I was over on The Young Mommy Life talking about lessons that I've learned thus far in my 20's and how I'm applying them to my life. (If you haven't checked it out, feel free to do so.) One of the things that I spoke about is not co-parenting with Aiden's other parent. That's when I started receiving the messages about the benefits of children having both parents (like I don't know this already...)

When Aiden's other parent and I broke up, in my mind, I thought I was going to be the poster mom for "How to Make Co-parenting Work." I thought that I'd compose these amazingly inspiring posts that'll include tips on getting along with your ex, coordinating schedules so that the child can see and spend time with both parents, effectively communicate... the works. 

If you've been reading this blog, you know that no such posts have been written. Hopefully, though, you still get the inspiring posts. Hopefully. 

The thing is, Aiden's other parent and I are not co-parents. We don't coordinate anything and I make the decisions that have to do with all things Aiden. Co-parenting means when two parents work cooperatively. Simply put: that ain't us.

When I asked him to move out, he made the decision not to be around for Aiden's third birthday party (although he was invited). He made the decision not be around for holidays (although I tried to encourage him to visit). He made the decision not to clear his schedule on the days we agreed would be his days to take Aiden (although I gave him tips on child-friendly places he could take Aiden).

I'm not trying to make him look bad or make myself look good. I try not to write about him or our situation unless I can do so gracefully and with a clear mind. I'm simply stating facts. And simply put: I take care of Aiden. Without him. He hasn't been in Aiden's life at all for the past few months and before that (after we broke up), the time he spent with Aiden was few and far between. I'm okay with that now. I've made peace with the situation.

But then again, he's not my father. And so, I'm putting things in place so that Aiden will be able to deal with this loss or void (or whatever you'd want to call it) in an effective way. 

Co-parenting may be ideal, but when co-parenting fails, the only thing I can do is make peace with the situation, move forward, and teach Aiden that life is about making the best of what you have.

Aiden will have a good life. I will make sure of it. Heck, he already has a full and happy life. At 4-1/2-years-old the kid has traveled to several countries and states and learned about life outside of NYC. In NYC, his schedule is filled with joyous and enriching activities. In the fall, he'll be going to a great prep school that'll help shape him into a socially competent and model citizen. He's destined for greatness. And I'll be damned if I let someone come in and shit all over it. Simply put: he's my baby and it ain't going down like that. Rest your understanding on that. 

Oh, and Happy Easter!