On Learning Hard Life Lessons

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Earlier this week I found myself sitting on my girl K's couch at her apartment in Harlem. We were having one of those serious heart-to-heart life-can-really-kick-your-ass-sometimes conversation. As I was talking to her, I found myself reminding her (and myself!) that we've learned a lot so far as young adults. This really helped us put a lot of things into perspective and see that we actually have come a long way. I don't know everything and I'm still learning everyday, but I'm glad that I've learned this much thus far.

Today, I can't help but share a few of those "lessons" with you. So here it goes:

1.  Everyone won't understand why you do certain things. It's cool though. They're not required to "get it." But you should try to understand the motives behind your actions. It's self-awareness. At its finest.

2.  Your intuition probably knows more about your safety than you do. It always has your best interest at heart and it's always right. The sooner you learn to trust it, the better.

3.  Everyone makes mistakes. Including you. Be forgiving of yourself. Learn the lesson. And move forward.

4.  It's okay to express emotional generosity towards others. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you kind. ("Be kinder than necessary" is one of my favorite quotes.)

5.  YOU define your worth and value, not others. And not their opinions of you either. YOU define it.

6.  It's okay to agree to disagree with other people... without being disagreeable. (No need to argue, fight, or try to get people to see your point of view. Sometimes, it's okay to agree to disagree.)

7.  It's perfectly fine to enjoy your personal and professional life... and still be a good mother. It makes you well-rounded.

8.  Giving others the silent treatment will probably get you nowhere. Have the courage to express your thoughts and feelings... without being disagreeable.

9.  "No." is a complete sentence. Learn to use it whenever deemed necessary.

10.  Be humble enough to ask for help before things get too overwhelming.

11.  Dysfunctional love is not real love. There comes a point when the "growing pains" end, and the "pain" pain begins. Learn to recognize when you've reached that point.

What would you add to this list? Kick knowledge!