The Single Mom Life

Last year around this time Single Edition Media interviewed me on all things single mom life... and young mom life... and delicious mom life. *Wink* It was pretty interesting answering the questions because it really forced me to be introspective and self-aware. Going back to look at my answers to the questions was even more interesting. Take a look:

Q: You were thrust into life “kidnapped into motherhood” soon after graduating from Columbia University. How did you manage to make this transition all on your own at such a young age?
I must admit that it was not an easy transition. I cried a lot and I struggled with the idea of my “new life” a lot. I loved my son and wanted to be the best mother for him, but I longed for my single-girl life. I wanted to spend time with friends and live the seemingly carefree life that they lived, but that was impossible as a new mother. Eventually I came to terms with my new life and it became my new normal. Since then, I’ve learned the importance of creating some sort of balance in my life – I schedule time for friends in the midst of play dates, Gymboree, and all other motherly duties.

Q: Most people stay in dead-end relationships but you left the one you were in for your own safety and sanity. Where did you find the courage to break it off given that you had a baby together?
I must admit that I fought hard for the relationship with my son’s father to work. I’m pretty stubborn and I’ve never thought of myself as a quitter. I’ve always felt that effort equals success. Also, I felt as though I’d given up too much already, such as my young, single adult life. So I tried to make it work and I tried to fix what was wrong in my relationship. But I was fighting a loosing battle. My relationship with my ex was broken before I officially broke up with him. Once I came to terms with this and learned to accept the things I could not change, I knew it was time for me to leave. For good. I wanted to be happy and I wanted to be a role model for my son by not staying in a loveless relationship.

Q: Looking back, is there any advice you wish someone gave you that you care to share with other young single Moms to be?
Perspective is everything. I certainly could have enjoyed my pregnancy and the first few months of my life as a new mom much more if I only accepted what my new life was. It wasn’t a bad life, just different than what I had planned. It took me a long time to get to this point, but I suppose everything in its time. I guess I had to take this journey, to feel this pain, to overcome this obstacle just so I can help someone else.

Q: Finding love again…How do you know if and when you are ready to introduce someone new into your life?
I would love to start dating again! Got anyone in mind for me? No, seriously… if you know a good catch, send him my way! I feel as though these past few months have been a period of tremendous growth for me – I’ve learned a lot about myself and my worth and all that I have to bring to a relationship. But until that day comes when I will no longer be single, I am enjoying my life. All of it. I’m finishing grad school this May, will continue blogging, and will continue to enjoy motherhood. I have a very lovely life, whether I’m single or attached.


Q: Any other words of wisdom you care to share with our readers?
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We only have one life to live so there’s no need for it to be harder than it should be. Reach out to friends and loved ones when you are in need. It took me a long time to learn this, and it is still something that I struggle with, but I am always amazed by how much people are willing to help… if I am willing to let them. Spend time with friends and love that time. Spend time with yourself and self-reflect. It’ll bring you a lot of personal growth. Smile a lot. Flirt a little. Pray often. And have fun because life’s too precious not to.


Read all of the interview HERE.


[Originally published on April 11, 2011]