Actually, I wasn't referring to SG at all when I uttered those words. I was talking about some other, er, situation...
It's the tail end of February and it's been about five months since Yummy and I decided that our, er, situation would not be upgraded to a real relationship. It's been about five weeks since I had no contact with him at all. Five. Whole. Weeks. No phone calls. No text messages. No Facebook "research." Whenever I feel the urge to reach out to him (or conduct Facebook "research"), I stop myself. Instead, I go for a run and listen to "Fighter," by Christina Aguilera, or "Stronger," by Kanye West. On repeat.
It's the tail end of February and it's been about five months since Yummy and I decided that our, er, situation would not be upgraded to a real relationship. It's been about five weeks since I had no contact with him at all. Five. Whole. Weeks. No phone calls. No text messages. No Facebook "research." Whenever I feel the urge to reach out to him (or conduct Facebook "research"), I stop myself. Instead, I go for a run and listen to "Fighter," by Christina Aguilera, or "Stronger," by Kanye West. On repeat.
(Don’t give me the side eye for that one. My dating life clearly revolves around music. Not to mention, I deserve a friggin' award for that kind of self control.)
In a few days, our mutual friends from college will be co-hosting their birthday party and, of course, he's going to be there.
I debate skipping out on the party, but I'm not one to let other people dictate my social engagements. Plus, I'm not one to turn down a good party. So, in true Mommy Delicious fashion, I show up. My outfit's flirting with red and I'm looking pretty hawt!
When I see him at the party, he looks... yummy. Just as I remembered him. We're cordial -- not exactly flirting, but a little more than friendly. It's only natural.
It's bittersweet.
After the party, I'm debriefing with my girl T (from Miami), and I'm like, "Hot damn! I think I re-like him" to which she responds, "Umm, you never stopped liking him." After he pops up in my head more times than I thought he would have, I realize that... I miss him. (There... I said it.) But not just a little bit. I miss him more than I thought I would have. Make no mistakes about it: my life continued after our, er, situation, ended. There was single motherhood and private school applications and outings and trips out of town and work and stress and all that jazz.
But, still. I know that I want to see him. Again.
Another again.
He's single. I'm single. What's the harm, right?
That week, he and I make plans to catch up over dinner for the following week. I'm excited. (There... I said it.) And now I'm playing "Knock You Down," by Keri Hilson. On repeat.
When my girls say that I'm cray cray for making dinner plans with him, I start to justify my actions by calling it a non-date. "I won't even stress about what ouftit to wear!" I say in my defense. (I totally stressed about what outfit to wear.) "If anything," I continue, "It'll give me material for a HowAboutWe article or something. Like, 'How To Be Friends With An Ex' or something like that." (I totally didn't get an article out of it.)
Eh.
Our non-date is... interesting. There's so much that we should and could be discussing. And we do. Initially. But then, we start speaking body language. And that, we understand perfectly. It feels... warm-and-fuzzy-and-butterflies-in-your-stomach good. The chemistry between us is still there.
Just like old times.
There's nothing "non" about it.
A few weeks, a few more Yummy rendevous, and a few dates with other guys in between... here I stand. Single and dating. My girl L says, "I think y'all are both just fronting." Eh, maybe she has a point...
Umm... I don't really have an ending for this post. I've been thinking about how I would end it for a couple days now and the words just keep rearranging themselves in my head.
But... perhaps that's the ultimate bullshit of dating -- you never know how it's going to end. Until it ends.
Or... maybe that's the beauty of dating -- no matter how it pans out, you'll be okay.
Because I will be okay. No matter how this plays out.
Such is life.
*Shrugs*
In a few days, our mutual friends from college will be co-hosting their birthday party and, of course, he's going to be there.
I debate skipping out on the party, but I'm not one to let other people dictate my social engagements. Plus, I'm not one to turn down a good party. So, in true Mommy Delicious fashion, I show up. My outfit's flirting with red and I'm looking pretty hawt!
When I see him at the party, he looks... yummy. Just as I remembered him. We're cordial -- not exactly flirting, but a little more than friendly. It's only natural.
It's bittersweet.
After the party, I'm debriefing with my girl T (from Miami), and I'm like, "Hot damn! I think I re-like him" to which she responds, "Umm, you never stopped liking him." After he pops up in my head more times than I thought he would have, I realize that... I miss him. (There... I said it.) But not just a little bit. I miss him more than I thought I would have. Make no mistakes about it: my life continued after our, er, situation, ended. There was single motherhood and private school applications and outings and trips out of town and work and stress and all that jazz.
But, still. I know that I want to see him. Again.
Another again.
He's single. I'm single. What's the harm, right?
That week, he and I make plans to catch up over dinner for the following week. I'm excited. (There... I said it.) And now I'm playing "Knock You Down," by Keri Hilson. On repeat.
When my girls say that I'm cray cray for making dinner plans with him, I start to justify my actions by calling it a non-date. "I won't even stress about what ouftit to wear!" I say in my defense. (I totally stressed about what outfit to wear.) "If anything," I continue, "It'll give me material for a HowAboutWe article or something. Like, 'How To Be Friends With An Ex' or something like that." (I totally didn't get an article out of it.)
Eh.
Our non-date is... interesting. There's so much that we should and could be discussing. And we do. Initially. But then, we start speaking body language. And that, we understand perfectly. It feels... warm-and-fuzzy-and-butterflies-in-your-stomach good. The chemistry between us is still there.
Just like old times.
There's nothing "non" about it.
A few weeks, a few more Yummy rendevous, and a few dates with other guys in between... here I stand. Single and dating. My girl L says, "I think y'all are both just fronting." Eh, maybe she has a point...
Umm... I don't really have an ending for this post. I've been thinking about how I would end it for a couple days now and the words just keep rearranging themselves in my head.
But... perhaps that's the ultimate bullshit of dating -- you never know how it's going to end. Until it ends.
Or... maybe that's the beauty of dating -- no matter how it pans out, you'll be okay.
Because I will be okay. No matter how this plays out.
Such is life.
*Shrugs*
Hmm, I say just go with the flow, kind of que sera, sera kind of thing.. good things happens when you least expected an I am sure it will come to a great girl and mom like you. Second chance in life is sweet and when it comes you'll know it. Good luck sweetie.. enjoy dating life.. sometimes I wish ;)
ReplyDeletehttp://mrsjackofalltradesdaily.blogspot.com/2012/06/purple-and-floral-hope-for-peace.html
You and Mr. Yummy got a thing going on! In time, you'll figure out just what that thing is. I'll be reading...
ReplyDeleteSo had Mr Yummy dropped his "pre-existing condition" and able to upgrade? I'm glad you're happy and that you didn't put your life on hold after things went south the first go around. Sometimes, the second time is the charm.
ReplyDeleteYou give me butterflies...inside...lalala!
ReplyDeleteI dedicate Michael Jackson's "butterflies" to you and Mr. Yummy.
I'm with Cam...I will be staying tuned!
Ooooh, i can't wait to see where this goes! Maybe 2nd time's the charm!
ReplyDeleteOoooh the climax! :) The way I look at life, things work out the way they should. Not always how we want, but how they are supposed to. Girl, go out and LIVE! Enjoy your life and see where this takes you. No matter what you have something to learn from, write about and to dedicate a song to! ;)Go get 'em tigress lol
ReplyDeleteI feel like I could have written this story (almost verbatim) about my ex.....
ReplyDeleteI love that you added the "about my ex" portion of that sentence. It beez like that sometimes... But, things always work out the way they're supposed to, right? Let's talk.
DeleteGood thing about this is you have no expectations or illusions.....it is what it is. Enjoy your life and keep it movin as you always do. Hope Mr yummy comes to his senses and embrace the opportunity he has but if not, it's his loss.
ReplyDeleteI like how you have songs as backdrops for your emotions. I should maybe do that too, especially whenever I'm tempted to do some "facebook research".
ReplyDeleteAh, dating...damned if you do, damned if you don't! I can never figure that maze out, but yes, I'm stuck in it too. I just go with the flow, carrying a little prayer in my pocket that things will turn out right and virtually painless...
LOL, I'm so bad about facebook 'research' - so bad.
ReplyDeleteMr. Yummy really does need to figure it out...fast!
ReplyDelete