Alone, But Not Lonely

This weekend as Aiden and I were going about our scheduled activities -- swimming class, the Brooklyn Bridge Park, and lunch in the city -- a thought hit me: the end of the summer will mark two years since I ended the relationship with his other parent and welcomed life as a single mother. 

Two years. 

Wow!

When I think back to that first month after my ex moved out, I remember it as being no easy feat. Break-ups suck. Big time. The habits of that relationship became so engrained in me and in my daily life that I remember feeling a sense of loss when he actually moved out. There was some sense of "Wow... okay, this is actually over."

I'd gotten so used to our abnormal relationship that at some point it felt like "normal."

Not good. (And I'm so glad that I'm back to a much better "normal".)

At first, I thought I was going to be lonely. But then I realized that towards the tail end of that relationship, I was already lonely. And there's nothing worse than being lonely in a couple. Or lonely in a crowd. 

After a few months of being a single mother, I realized that I wasn't lonely. 

At all. 

I was living. 

I thought that I was going to be a co-parenting guru, but after trying (and trying... and trying) to make it work, I learned to embrace life as a solo single mother. 

It seems to be for the best. For Aiden. For me. For sanity.

I've experienced some challenges as a single mother. I've learned some lessons. Hard ones. But here I am, almost two years later...

Alone. But not lonely. 

It feels good.

Two years.

Wow!

Time flies when you're living life.