On Confronting and Releasing Your Fears

[photo via]

Most of the time, I like to think that I'm a put-together grown-up. I've written about this before. But being a grown-up is hard sometimes. Sometimes, I have to deal with things that I don't want to deal with (at the moment), but I have to deal with because dealing with it is what makes me a mature grown-up.

Sometimes I'm successful at this sooner than later.

But sometimes... I'm a straight up punk. I stall. I avoid. And I convince myself that I need to stall and avoid because it's a defense mechanism, some sort of a survival tactic.

I'm not even kidding.

But this year, in order to experience progress, I'm resolving to do more things that scare me. Starting now.

This week, there are three things that I plan to confront, deal with, and then release.
1. Talk to my school's Principal about an uncomfortable subject that's been on my mind for the past week-and-a-half.
When it comes down to it, the topic is not even a big deal. But I've been maybe kinda sorta avoiding the inevitable conversation because having the conversation will make me uncomfortable. But... I just have to do it and be done with it.

2. Read an email from Aiden's School Psychologist.
The email is a follow-up conversation that she and I had three weeks ago (prior to him going on Winter Break). To my defense: she just sent the email to me two days ago and I've been really, really, really busy since then. (*Wink*) But I will open it. Today. And read her thoughts. Today. And respond to it. Today. And deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. Today.

3. Actually open a bill that I received a few days ago.
It's been looking so sad just sitting there on my kitchen counter. Unopened. (Am I the only one who does this?! Don't answer that.) The funny thing is, I know how much the statement is. And I know exactly when I'm going to pay the darn thing. But I still haven't opened it because I don't want to face it and actually see the number and do the mental math and face the fact that X amount of dollars will be used on a bill instead of on something more important, like, say, shoes. Just kidding. (And yes, I'm a punk.)

But this week, I will put my big-girl pants on, suck it up, and deal with it. Because I know that it's going to be okay. And I'll see that I was being a total punk for no apparent reason at all.

The only way to get through hard things is to go (and grow) through it. After all, they don't call it "growing pains" for nothing!