This Is What It Feels Like To Have It All

Hard work.

Every. Single. Day.

Well, let me back up a little bit.

I don't "have it all." I'm extremely blessed and feel very favored to have accomplished a lot of the goals that I've set thus far. I'm also fortunate enough to be able to set new goals and to begin to work towards them. It's a great feeling.

But it's not easy. It's hard work. 

Between a full time job as a Dean of Students, a freelance side hustle, and single motherhood, I'm always "on". I have late nights and early mornings, and I move in and out of my different roles like it's nobody's business. I make sacrifices. Sometimes television and sleep take a backseat to late-night workouts and writing assignments. Emails and messages get answered after dinner has been eaten, the bedtime routine is complete, and the kid is nicely tucked in and has drifted off to Dream Land. I rejuvenate and re-energize by going out with friends and indulging in little treats for myself. It reminds me that before I'm a Dean or a freelance writer or a single mother, I'm a woman. And that feels good.

But I work. Hard. Every day. And unapologetically.

I established this work ethic a long time ago and although it's not easy, I always remind myself to push forward. Especially when I get weary. 

Why?

Because I wanted this. I want this. I prayed for this. I worked for this.  

Hard.

And now that I have the career that I've worked so hard for, I'm still working to maintain it.  

Harder.

I received a message from a reader the other day stating that she admires my drive and ambition, and that it encourages her to keep pushing forward. She's not working at her dream job (yet!), but she's striving. That's a good thing. And I'm a firm believer that her work ethic will speak for itself, and get her to the place where she's striving to go.

That's the thing about work ethic: the work ethic and drive that you establish now will be the same work ethic and drive that you'll take with you when you land that dream job. So don't wait. Start now. Because once you land that dream job and you "have it all," you'll still have to work.  

Hard. 

Every. Single. Day.

{Personal Style} Stepping Out In Stars

This weekend, I hit the streets on NYC and headed out to Pranna for a birthday party of two of my college friends. Talk about a good time! Singing (off key), dancing (on beat), and sipping on champagne and cocktails.

[blazer, rings: H&M; dress: eBay; shoes: Steve Madden; stacked bracelets:
Stella¨ bag: Target; necklace: Mark by Avon]

I purchased this suede star print super mini dress with lace trimmings about a year ago, and thought about wearing it several times, but haven't had the perfect opportunity. Enter Saturday night.

After pairing it with a pink blazer, emerald green bag, and 5-inch peep toe pumps, I was good to go. Saturday night was pretty rejuvenating and definitely reminded me that I need to continue to make time for myself and my friends.

Hope you all have a very stylish week!

{Dating Tales} This Thing About Communication...

It's been a few weeks that The Guy and I have been hanging out. I kinda like him.

We've spent time alone on dates and we've spent time together with Aiden. This is a first for me. I usually don't introduce my dates to Aiden.

I enjoy his company and have a really good time whenever I'm with him. The entire "situationship" feels pretty grown up to me. And that's a good thing.

But there's this thing about communication. A couple weeks ago I wrote this post about how I maybe kinda sorta might could possibly be an ineffective communicator when it comes to romantic relationships.

And it's true. I am. 

I have a cycle that goes a little something like this: I have a disagreement with a guy. I get angry. I shut down. I think not-so-nice things to myself that I’d like to say, but wouldn’t say because, well, it’s not-so-nice. I shut down some more. I get silent. (If I speak, more often than not, it's typically something sarcastic.) I think more not-so-nice things. I give a blank stare instead of responding.    

I've been trying to work on it, especially in this grown up "situationship" with The Guy.

But... old habits die hard. And it's an uphill battle at times when trying to get rid of something that's habitual.

So I had a relapse a few days ago. And The Guy was not accepting it. He thinks I'm pretty great and all, but he showed me some tough love that day...

"The way you communicate is immature."

GASP!

Is he kidding me?! Did those words just come out of his mouth?! Seriously, is he talking to me like that?! Are there still words coming out of his mouth?! Oh, wait... I should listen to this...

"...You say that you want Aiden to learn to be good at communicating. So you have to be able to do the same thing..."

Really though?! The Guy is on a roll. Oh, wait. He's still talking...

"...You get upset and shut down and not talk to me. That's unfair... And the way you handle your emotions is immature."

Well damn. I guess he told me. Tell me how you really feel, why not?!

And that's just what The Guy did. It was nothing that I asked to hear, nothing that I initially wanted to hear. But everything that I eventually needed to hear.

So I listened. Eventually. And I took it all in. Eventually.

I nodded, swallowed my pride (I'm stubborn so it took a lot out of me to do that), and mustered up the courage to say, "You're right. Thank you. I needed to hear that." (Major points for putting on the Big-Girl Pants.)

And now, this thing about my communication skills? We're working on it together. I'm happy. I need to make an effort to work on this aspect of myself.

And The Guy? Yeah, I kinda like him...

{Personal Style} Saturday Nights and Prabal Gurung for Target

[blazer; Zara; top: Prabal Gurung for Target; necklace: Lia Sophia; denim: GAP]

After feeling ill for two days and resting for a day-and-a-half, I was ready to hit the streets of NYC on Saturday night. And that's just what I did. I headed to a fun little bar on the Lower East Side with my gals from college, L and B, and we sang and danced like we haven't done in a while.

I'll admit, it probably wasn't the most responsible and adult thing for me to do since my energy level wasn't exactly at 100%, but once the music starting going, I completely forgot that I was ill a mere 12 hours prior.

Such is life in the Big City.

[B and I]

[L and I]

I wore dark denim skinny jeans with suede knee-high boots (not shown) and dressed it up with a cobalt blazer and my lovely Prabal Gurung for Target top.

After searching for hours for this blazer and top to no avail, I got my hands on a few other pieces that I really like. So it's all good. (I'm still on the hunt for the blazer and top though.)

 What do you guys think of the collection? Has anyone scored any awesome pieces?

Have a very stylish week!

To Be Single, and Living in America

Did you know that...

69% of single women judge men they are romantically interested in by their grammar?
55% of single men judge women they are romantically interested in by their grammar?

And some folks thought that I was totally crazy for having second thoughts about BGG (aka Bad Grammar Guy). Apparently, it's more common than I thought!

{Photo via}

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to attend a lovely media event at Prohibition in Manhattan, hosted by Match.com in which Dr. Helen Fisher presented awesome (and shocking!) findings in Match.com's annual Single's In America study. While I was unable to actually attend the event due to the after affects of Nemo and babysitting woes, the results of the study are too good not to share.

While 89% of single women and 90% of single men want someone who they find physically attractive, 97% of single women and 91% of single men want someone who has a sense of humor.

Now let's talk about respect and trust. 98% of single women and 96% of single men want someone who respects them. 99% of single women and 95% of single men want someone who they can trust and confide in. 

As I've come to realize in more recent years: positive character traits mean much more than good looks. Word! And check this out: when it comes to attractiveness, 40% of singles (men and women) have fallen in love with someone they didn't initially find attractive.

Once they've already started dating, it turns out that women want independence (56% of women would like a regular Girl's Night Out), and men want commitment and to fall in love faster.

Who knew?!

There's more. The study covers everything from romance and dating in this economy to sexting and forging a long-term commitment to meeting the parents and falling in love. It's that extensive. To see more results and get information from the pros, check out the study here. Also, check out the following YouTube Video for more scoop on Singles In America.

Happy dating, y'all!

{Disclaimer: This post is being sponsored by Match.com.}

What Do You Love About Your Kids?

A couple weeks ago, I found myself complaining about child support (or the lack thereof) and just how many expenses Aiden has and just how much money I dish out every month.

But that wasn't exactly helping my mood. So I decided to count my blessing instead.

Here's the thing: I love Aiden. I'm blessed to have him in my life. I'm blessed to be called his mother. And he's... amazing!

There are so many things that I love about Aiden. I love that he's...

Smart and witty and a great critical thinker.

Sweet and caring.

Loving to his friends and wants them to be happy.

Happy to go to school and gets excited about learning new things. (It makes the tuition totally worth it, even with the lack of child support).

Concerned about my thoughts and feelings. He often says, "Mommy, are you happy at me or sad at me?" (I think it's so cute when he says this.)

A resilient little boy who continues to learn the power of persevering each and every day.

A terrible person to co-sleep with, but wants to be close to me at night and almost always reaches out and touches me in his sleep.

Funny. And says things like this: "You don't have rest time at your job to take a NAP? But... but... how 'bout if you get sleepy?"

A total trooper! He wakes up super early every morning because I have to get to work super early. He totally goes with my flow with a warm heart and a smile on his face.

A total rockstar!

Count some blessings with me. What do you love about your kids?

{Giveaway} $25 Visa Gift Card

You all know how much I love you. And how grateful I am for this community. I say it as often as I feel the need to on this here place and space.

And so.

I'm taking the time out of our regularly scheduled inspirational, stylish, and this-is-what-life-as-a-single-mom-is-like posts in order to bring you...

A giveaway!

One (1) awesome Mommy Delicious reader will win a $25 Visa gift card that you can do whatever you'd like with.

Want to win it?! Here are the deets:

1.  Leave a comment saying what kind of posts you like to see on Mommy Delicious -- inspirational, single mom stuff, dating, styling, etc. 
2. For an extra entry, Follow Mommy Delicious on Twitter and tweet this giveaway! Be sure to @MommyDelicious in your tweet. Leave a separate comment stating that you tweeted.
3.  For another entry, "like" Mommy Delicious on Facebook and share this giveaway! Be sure to tag Mommy Delicious in you FB posting. Leave a separate comment stating that you posted to Facebook.

The giveaway will end on Friday, February 15th at 5pm, at which point one winner will be chosen via Random.org. 

That's all folks! Good luck and stay tuned for some more awesome content!

WINNER ANNOUNCED: Congratulations to Pippirose! Stay tuned for an email from me!

{Dating Tales} This Is The Thing That I'm Not Good At

[photo via]

Communication. 

Effective communication. Consistent effective communication. Specifically in romantic relationships. And specifically when I get upset over something.

I know what you’re thinking.  

"But… but… you’re a blogger!"

"But… but… you earn money from writing, from communicating!"

"But… but… I read your blog three times a week!" (Humor me, please.)

Be that as it may, I'm not as an effective communicator as I’d like to be when it comes to romantic relationships.

I have a cycle and it goes a little something like this: I have a disagreement with a guy. I get angry. I shut down. I think not-so-nice things to myself that I’d like to say, but wouldn’t say because, well, it’s not-so-nice. I shut down some more. I get silent. (If I speak, more often than not, it's typically something sarcastic.) I think more not-so-nice things. I give a blank stare instead of responding. 

I know, I know... It's bad. 

I've gotta learn to do better.

That's the thing about staying in a toxic relationship for so long. You pick up a few unhealthy -- and unhelpful -- habits along the way. 

But I'm working on it.

And I'm learning how to make a change. Slowly, but surely...

(So you know: Yes, there's a guy. And, yes, I'll share more info at a later time. Maybe.)

{Personal Style} Colorblock and Curls

After ranting about childcare expenses and child support and the "other" parent who refuses to pay it on Saturday afternoon over on the Mommy Delicious Facebook page, I figured it was time for some Saturday night fun.

So I went on a date. And it was nice.

I really like the color purple and they way it looks against my skin tone so I opted for a blouse in that color. The outfit was color-blocked to perfection with a green cropped jacket (last seen here), black skinnies, and over-the-knee boots.

I curled my hair because, let's face it, that's always fun. And my face was beat with all kinds of MAC and Bobbi Brown and Rimmel London make-up. Just lovely and just what I needed.

[blouse, jacket: H&M; skinnies: AE; boots: Steve Madden]

I asked my date to take a picture of me, but he didn't take a full length. Bummer. I didn't want to be that girl who says, "Take it again! This is going on the Internet, ya know?!" After all, I don't want him to think that I'm cray cray. Yet.

It's always great to get out and have a drink or two when you're in a funk! It's such a picker-upper.

Hope you have a fabulous week. Stay stylish!

You Are More Than Your Cicumstances

I was talking to someone the other day and they commented on the About Me page for this site. After reading my story, they were really touched and I got the "OMG! How did you do all of this given your past?" I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders (as I always do) and said something along the lines of "I'm favored. And I did what I had to do to make it." (As I always do.) 

Then I got to thinking (pause as I channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw): whenever someone hears my story or learns something about my life, the question is always "How?" 

How did I make it to an Ivy League university on a prestigious academic scholarship having been raised in foster care and coming from an unstable background?

How did I manage to graduate in four years, start my career, and find an apartment? 

How did I not crumble under pressure and give up after finding out the I was gonna be someone's momma? 

How did I make it out of a toxic relationship? 

How did I get through grad school while going through a long, drawn-out breakup safely and sanely, and still be able to smile? 

How am I surviving as a solo single mother and balancing my ever-consuming career, freelance writing gigs and a social life (albeit not so great at times)?

Just... how? 

And then I think about it. 

I am favored. 

And I am blessed with drive and ambition and passion and resilience and grit. 

And, more importantly, I know that I am more. More than just a girl who comes from an unstable background. More than just a girl who had a total "oops!" moment when the pregnancy test came back positive. More than just a girl who was in a physically and financially abusive relationship. More than just a girl who became a solo single mother.

Point blank: I am more than my circumstances. 

And so are you. I mean, I look at Carla, who went from being a grad school student to an instructor (and she is also a single mama). And I look at Tara, who's a young mother of two and a total boss! And I look at all of you and your emails and messages. 

Point blank: you're awesome. And you are more than your circumstances. 

Believe it.