{Dating Tales} Baby Steps

Remember this post? It went a little something like this...

It’s been a few weeks that The Guy and I have been hanging out. I kinda like him.

We’ve spent time alone on dates and we’ve spent time together with Aiden. This is a first for me. I usually don’t introduce my dates to Aiden.

I enjoy his company and have a really good time whenever I’m with him. The entire “situationship” feels pretty grown up to me. And that’s a good thing.

But there’s this thing about communication. A couple weeks ago I wrote this post about how I maybe kinda sorta might could possibly be an ineffective communicator when it comes to romantic relationships.

And it’s true. I am.  

I have a cycle that goes a little something like this: I have a disagreement with a guy. I get angry. I shut down. I think not-so-nice things to myself that I’d like to say, but wouldn’t say because, well, it’s not-so-nice. I shut down some more. I get silent. (If I speak, more often than not, it’s typically something sarcastic.) I think more not-so-nice things. I give a blank stare instead of responding.    

Photo via

It's no secret.

I have a little issue with communicating effectively when it comes to romantic relationships.

But I'm working on it. Baby steps, y'all. Baby steps.

And my blogging buddy, Amber (over on Talk to Amber) is giving me (and e'erbody else who needs it!) some tips and tricks on how to communicate.

Effectively. 

She's kicking lots of knowledge in her post, Silence, Sarcasm, and Shutting Down, and one of the things that she's suggesting to do is to make small changes. When you feel yourself shutting down, say something to the other person along the lines of this:

"The direction this conversation is taking is making me ___________ (uncomfortable, upset, frustrated, overwhelmed, etc). I usually shut down when I’m feeling that way. Can we pause for a moment so I can collect my thoughts and get my words together?”

That's just one of the gems that Amber shares. Head over to her website to read the entire post and find out how to get on the path of communicating effectively. You deserve to be understood and effective communication is just the beginning. 

Baby Steps, y'all. Baby steps.