I was sitting in my bedroom, writing out checks to pay some bills. After paying the third or fourth bill, I paused and had a moment of gratitude. I was paying all of the bills. In full.
I'm blessed.
And everything is turning out quite alright.
This
month marks three years since I ended the relationship with my ex. It
was toxic and it was about time that I face the facts and call it quits.
He moved out, and I began to refill the empty spaces in my life... and my heart.
It wasn't easy. None of it.
The
process of accepting that I chose the wrong person, the process of
knowing that we weren't going to raise Aiden in a two-parent
household, the process of knowing that my life had forever been
changed, the process getting back on track with my career, the process
of repairing my finances...
I was in for some
tough times. Scary times. But I was determined to make this new life
work. My life depended on it. Heck, Aiden's life depended
on it.
I set the goal to finish grad school
and re-start my career, and eventually lead a school to help others reach
their fullest academic potential. Three years later, I completed the former, and I'mworking on the latter.
Things are good. And I feel incredibly blessed.
That
toxic relationship broke a lot of things in me -- my confidence in my
judgement and my ability to make sound decisions, my self-esteem, my finances. But the one
thing that it didn't break was my spirit.
I held on to that. Tight.
And
that's what gave me the strength and courage to move forward. That's what allowed me to keep going through my personal hell. That's
what helped me practice resiliency. That's what helped me to make it
through.
I know some of you are going through
tough times because I read and respond to your emails. All of them. But don't let it
break your spirit. Push forward, bounce back, and pick up the pieces. It
might be hard, but it won't be impossible. You can do it and your
future depends on it.
It is my hope and prayer that you
too will be able to pause and have a moment of gratitude. Because, in the end, after all is said and done, you
would be stronger, wiser, and more capable than you ever thought
possible.
*claps*
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful writer and have such an encouraging story tell. I don't know you but I'm proud of you -- you are doing a wonderful job with Aiden, yourself, and helping other women out!
All I can say to that is Amen. Simply Amen.
ReplyDeleteI really needed to read this. Thank you for being an amazing inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteI had this exact same feeling last week as I sat at my laptop and also drove all over town paying bills. In full. And I smiled, because I remember when I couldn't. Or, I remember when I could, but didn't have much left for myself because my children needed or wanted something. I've had to go through so much but it has made me incredibly strong.. and like you mentioned, resilient. Your posts, along with my own recollection, always remind me of that.. of my strength. Thank you. (:
ReplyDeleteAnother reminder that hard times don't last always. We just have to refocus and keep moving forward!
ReplyDeleteLove this!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your transparency. You are an inspiration!
ReplyDelete