The Plan for This Year

On New Years Eve, I wrote a quick "Getting Ready for the New Year" note over on the Mommy Delicious Facebook page about what the past year meant to me, some things that I've learned, and why I'm looking forward to 2016.

Cliché, I know.

But necessary.

I went into 2015 ready for "the next big thing." Ready to get to another level in my career, ready to take on new roles, ready to challenge myself professionally, ready to make goals and meet goals and exceed goals.

I'm good at that stuff.

I'm good at getting my dreams... at making smart career moves, at impressing the powers that be at work, in leading a team of teachers, in talking to parents and students and helping them be great, in being my principal's right-hand man, in making boss moves... in being a total badass.

Totally not bragging, but I've had practice in developing that part of my life. So when the clock stroke twelve and took us from 2014 to 2015, I was ready to be great... at work. In my career.

And nothing else.

Throughout 2015, I got thrown for a loop. I got hit in every direction with things that I just wasn't ready for.

Going through the family court system to get sole physical and legal custody of Aiden. Boom!

Helping Aiden navigate all the changes in his life, from meeting with lawyers to having supervised visits with his other parent at Safe Horizon to having unsupervised visits a few hours during the week. Bam!

Seeing Aiden struggle in school and working with his teachers and school officials to figure out how to get this kid back on track. Pow!

Learning of Baby Delicious and figuring out how to physically, emotionally, and financially navigate being a mother of two. Eek!

Dealing with the ups and downs and highs and lows and miscommunications and misunderstandings of my relationship with HEB. Because there are downs and there are lows. Sigh.

Boom. Bam. Pow. Eek. Deep, deep sigh.

In 2015, I was a powerhouse at work and a total boss in my career. I got raved reviews, sweet bonuses, taught an extra class as an Adjunct Professor, and excelled... tremendously.

But personally and emotionally, I was somewhat of a hotmess. Just being honest.

The reasons for my hustle, professionally and personally

I thought I knew what it meant to be resilient before 2015. Turns out, I had a lot to learn about pushing and praying and trying not to worry. And pushing some more. And praying some more. And swimming when everything around me says I should be sinking. And finally, finally being able to float. And breathe.

And make it.

I made it.

I'm making it.

And now, I know that having success in my career does not improve me or change what's wrong in my life. It's not some kind of magical pill for making everything right, nor does it help with my personal growth.

I have to put in the work to make that happen. I have to meditate. I have to pray. I have to speak up when I'm unhappy. I have to communicate. I have to take care of myself.

It starts with me.

It's up to me to make it happen.

And that's what I'm dedicating 2016 to -- personal growth. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Growing pains. Being vulnerable and showing who I really am and how I really feel. (Because there's strength in vulnerability.) Not hiding behind my career. Reconnecting with friends and family that I've unintentionally lost touch with. Learning from the losses and capitalizing on the wins.

That's the plan for this year and for making 2016 epic.

I'm ready... are you?